Author Vicki Batman joins me today on Help From My Friends Friday. This woman is fearless; she’s also my hero. Thanks for joining me today, Vicki.
By Vicki Batman
Fourteen years ago, the ENT doctor diagnosed Handsome (my nickname for my husband) with throat cancer. At that time, I had only been writing for a few months. When we received the diagnosis, I literally felt all creative energy draining from my limbs and evaporating from my body. Everything-everything-everything went topsy turvy. How could I cope with helping my husband and follow my secret passion to write my book?
I couldn’t. I could not write. I had to concentrate on his treatment and recovery.
I thought about the consequences of not writing for a while and came up with a game plan I thought would keep my skills engaged:
1. beta read for friends.
2. take more online classes.
3. attend my local chapter’s meetings.
4. staying connected with writer friends.
5. do more Word Search, No Vowels puzzles.
6. Read! Read! Read!
7. Stitch. Stitch. Stitch.
And finally, I added after chemo and radiation ended, and the holidays passed to:
8. Write on January 2.
I knew other authors had faced dire situations and continued to plow on. I blamed my situation on being new to the craft of writing. Daunting—right?
I also believed everything happened for a reason.
Treatment ended in October, and we segued into the holidays. On my pre-selected day, I sat at my desk and opened my document. There my baby waited for me. Patiently waiting for me to make her brilliant. To be the best book ever in the entire universe.
Honestly, I didn’t have high expectations for myself on my first day back. I just piddled. The next day, I piddled some more. After many days of piddling, the rhythm of writing returned, and my creative brain resurrected. Utilizing my game plan ultimately strengthened my writing.
Three and a half years ago, Handsome’s left jaw ached off and on. He visited a specialty dentist who knew right away what his problem was. He told us radiation had caused the jawbone to die. The doctor prescribed sixty hyperbaric oxygen chamber treatments. These treatments infused the bone and tissue with oxygen to increase blood flow to the damaged area.
Handsome looked great; however, the treatments didn’t save his jaw. While we cruised the Baltic Sea, his jaw broke. The subsequent surgery failed. The doctors sent us to M D Anderson in Houston to consult with a reconstructive plastic surgeon. This doc was fabulous! Because of complications, Handsome faced several more surgeries. In all, he had ten. He pulled through despite the difficulties. However, his swallowing had been compromised, and he could only drink his food. Eventually, Handsome’s surgeries ended, Sometimes, because of the grafts, drains, and stitches (15 feet), he looked like Frankenstein.
I laughed and cried, and even whined. I just persisted because of my writing and publishing goals. Besides, many people faced harder difficulties than ours. We often said, “It could be worse.”
How did Handsome’s surgeries affect my writing this go-round? By what had happened years before, I was better prepared. I had been writing for a long while. I pubbed many stories, essays, and two romantic comedy mysteries. I toyed with an early draft of a third mystery when the surgeries took place. I knew something was wrong with the book and had trouble pinpointing the problem. When I did figure out the issue, I couldn’t face fixing it. I concentrated on my stories and fine-tuned them for publication.
I also followed items 1-8 I listed above. You probably wondered about the stitching thing. I believed pursuing other creative outlets added to my writing. Often while stitching, my head worked. The story fleshed out better. I added more details for dialogue and setting.
I took a long time to solve the mystery book’s problem. But I did it! I sent it to the publisher, and now, the manuscript is undergoing edits. I’ve pulled together two story collections and am working on two more.
I won’t sugar-coat how difficult my writing journey has been. Sometimes, we don’t know why we face difficulties. We all have life adventures—good and bad; happy and sad.
Every author’s journey is different. This is mine.
Love blossoms in the small town of Sommerville in these heartwarming tales, filled with fun and forever possibilities.
Raving Beauty: What if the love of your life was in front of you all along?
Store Wars: The competition is heating up when Janie’s old flame returns to town and is running his family’s store. Could following dreams break her heart?
San Diego or Bust: When a young woman plans a romantic getaway with her boyfriend, disaster strikes. Is her Mr. Right the right Mr. Right?
Find Vicki Batman at:
Website: http://vickibatman.blogspot.com/p/more-about-me.html/
Blog: http://www.vickibatman.blogspot.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Vicki-Batman-sassy-writer-of-sexy-and-funny-fiction-133506590074451/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/VickiBatman/
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/vickibatman/
Author Central: https://www.amazon.com/author/vickibatman/
Email: vlmbatman@hotmail.com/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4814608.Vicki_Batman/
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/vicki-batman/
Instagram: vickilbatman
What an inspiring story Vicki. It’s certainly not easy to write during difficult times. I’m glad your husgand’s doing well too.
Oh, my goodness, Vicki. My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s struggles and I know how it affected you. You see, I was a primary caretaker for a sister who died, and auxiliary caretaker for my oldest sister who died a few years later. It changes you. It changes how you write and what you write. This year was a total knee replacement for my Handsome. If you’ve never been through that, you don’t know how keeping your life going along with those rehab and doctor visits and doing everything household and yard will sap your energy and creativity. I get it, and somehow have managed to compartmentalize and get writing done this year. Will it be my best or worst? Time will tell.
Hi, Kelli! And thank you for visiting with me today. It isn’t easy and I admit, I had two great supporters–a friend, and my sister. I could call or text them anytime and they helped. More people wanted to, but it is exhausting. Talking about surgeries is exhausting.
He’s doing well. I wish he could swallow something. But our norm for now is him not able to.
Hi, Maggie! I completely understand what you’ve said. I changed in my perspective about other people and their trials of life. I also became more patient. People have complimented me on patience. I had no idea. I did get angry with the social worker at the hospital and walked out of the room. She gave me a wide berth after that. I figured I deserved one.
Vicki, thank you so much for being my guest today. Maggie, I had no idea you’d gone through so much of your own. How did you keep writing?
Oh, Vicki, what trials you both faced! When my HANDSOME died almost two years ago, I had just turned in the third book in a series that a publisher wanted. I was glad because the latter months of his illness drained any creative thought I might have had. Now I’m battling lung cancer and touching up a book I wrote sometime back. It’s so difficult to come up with creative thought when you’re going through trials. Warm hugs and prayers go out to both of you.
June, I’ve been praying for you. I hope writing has proved to be a wonderful escape from your current diagnosis. Please keep us posted.
Thank you for sharing such a tough situation. I was primary caregiver for my partner with cancer (first from 2001-2004, then 2007-…) she died this past April but was in treatment every 3 weeks for the past 12 years. She was my rock, always encouraging me when I began writing in earnest in 2014. How she faced her cancer helped me face my trials and tribulations (job changes, family issues, and life in general). She was my first reader and critic, too. I was with her through every treatment and learned to absorb myself in writing with people in and out of the treatment room. How can I get upset over a rejection with her as my guide in how to face life and push forward through anything! I admire your plan, Vicki, to counter the first round of all this; it’s such a learning process. And congratulations for working through it, moving forward, and keeping your sanity through writing. So many readers retain theirs through reading, so in a way it’s a form of paying it forward.
I’m seeing a lot of hero material in these responses. Thinking of you, Claire. I love this… So many readers retain their [sanity] through reading, so in a way it’s a form of paying it forward.
Hi, June! You said the word “drained.” For that is exactly how I felt. I’m sure there are authors who can and do power on through. I just wasn’t prepared the first time. I’m praying good things for your fight with lung cancer. Hugs!
Thank you for sharing your inspirational and touching story, Vicki!
Thank you,, Kara, for visiting with me. I hope in a small way I am helping someone.
You dropped some hints of this over time, but hearing the full story is really inspirational. You’ve got grit!
Brilliant timing for me to read this. Thank you, Vicki!!!
I’ve taken a writing hiatus while we travel a new road with treatments every three weeks and much back and forth in between. But like with your stitching, I’ve been able to paint most evenings and that’s a huge bonus because we don’t have a timeline to work with. Drained? Yep. But luckily my work with a feral cat rescue also helps fill the well, and just “take me away” for a few hours every week <3
No question, you’ve faced huge health challenges. You’re writing however inspires and entertains millions so I’m very glad you’ve managed to keep going. I’ve been writing very little recently do to my own problems but I’m hoping to do some more now. I only hope I’ll be able to entertain and inspire others as you have done.
Thank you, Susan. The only place I’ve really told everything is during Cancer month at Romance Lives Forever. I don’t know if I’m inspirational. I just worked out what was best for me. And by telling my/our story, maybe someone else will be reached.
Hi, Kathryn! I’m so glad you wrote today. Needlepoint was a great savior. I would sit in a corner in the room and stich and stitch which watching tv or listening to music. The rhythm of the stitches gave me a calmness. And I made something too. I love your rocks and cat stories. If I can help, I’m here.
Thank you for sharing your very tough struggles. You are an inspiration!
Well written blog… you’ve given many of us hints and knowledge through other writings, but this is a powerful summary… and as you say Handsome and you … and your survival = inspiration for others.
You and Handsome are inspirations to anyone going through difficult times. It’s surprising how strong we can be in the face of adversity. Keep fighting the good fight!
Thank you Vicki for your vulnerability to tell your story. That was very brave and yes helpful. As someone else wrote, you are an inspiration for sure.
I missed this yesterday. What an amazing story from an amazing author. Vicki, you inspire me and shame me for whining about my things in my world. Prayers for continued endurance and more delightful books.
What a wonderful story of perseverance and faith.
God bless you, your family and your writing
PamT
Hi, Pat! And thank you for saying my writing is inspirational and entertaining. I’m praying your difficulties even out soon and you are back to doing what you love. Hugs!
Thank you, M E Bakos. Truly, I just ducked my chin and carried on–no whining. I came out of the tunnel and all evened out. The norm is what we crave. Hugs.
Thank you, Debra. I omitted to say before Handsome’s first surgery, my dad, nephew, and 23 year old cat died. Then we went on the cruise. Then the jaw broke. A lot of stuff at once. And truthfully, we can handle one thing, one day at a time and somehow, with faith and love, we got through. He is a toughy and I can’t let him be more tough than me. LOL But there were a few down times. Then we would see someone suffering. Praying for them was more important.
Hi, Jacquie! Faith and love from family and friends carried us through. We also had very good care at M D Anderson. Truly an amazing hospital. Hugs!
Hi, Jean! Somewhere, I read or heard good girlfriends are therapists. I’ve been lucky to have my real sisters, my mahjong friends, my book club gals, my Jazzercise gang, and my writer friends who have surrounded me.
Thank you, Judythe. Whining does no good. But we all fail every now and then. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is being a constant whiner. LOL Thank you for your kind words.
Hi, Pam! And thank you so much for taking time to visit with me. Hugs back!
Sadly, many of us have things we have to get through. That’s why when something good happens, we can rejoice more. My story is the reverse, my husband is my caretaker since I can no longer stand or walk. Bless the caretakers!
I admire you and the people who commented on having similar situations!
Hi Ilona! Being the caretaker is a toughie. I hope you are doing well. Hugs
Hi, Hannah, and thank you. I am no saint. lol. Planning how to work and honoring my promise to myself worked. Next time, I might have to do something different. We all have stuff and sometimes, stuff is bigger and sometimes, it is smaller.