I don’t think I’m making a false statement to say writers write because they have vivid imaginations. I also theorize that writers choose a genre on what intrigues them most. If you are a Trekkie and can cite every Star Trek episode from the Original, Next Generation to Voyager series, you’re probably a sci-fi writer. If you grew up with Nora Roberts and the late Johanna Lindsey, among a multitude of others, you probably adore romance.
I grew up on Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy mysteries. I’ve posted that I am a Scaredy Cat https://donnellannbell.com/why-would-a-scaredy-cat-write-suspense/ because my imagination doesn’t lend itself to spaceships or courtships. My imagination always . . . always turns to mystery and suspense.
Much to my family’s dismay who have yet to figure me out.
Case in point, two nights ago. I’m minding my own business and the doorbell rings. All right. We’re in a pandemic. We’ve been social distancing, and the doorbell rings. I look right; I look left. My husband’s out for a walk. Is it him? No. I check. He’s back in his man cave. Someone is AT. THE. DOOR. My first clue was that ringing doorbell.
I gird my loins ( I read that in a historical novel) and I open the door. See the UPS truck pull away from my curb.
Oh. I nod. A package. Somebody has sent us a package. Must be for my husband because I haven’t ordered anything.
Picture this reenactment on a dark, stormy night. Ok, just dark…
It’s not for my husband. It’s FOR ME. A nervous chill dances up my spine (I do that when I’m nervous) and step close to THE PACKAGE. Sure enough, it has my name on it. It’s from Amazon WorldWide. I frown. I haven’t ordered anything from anybody—we’re in a Pandemic. Better call Amazon. Especially because thanks to COVID-19, we are not supposed to touch anything for God knows how many hours before it’s safe.
I enter the house. Call Amazon. Before the pandemic you could call them… too busy now. They’re sorry. I check my orders on the Amazon site. Nope. I HAVE NOT ORDERED ANYTHING. And on this package, there is no return address, only Amazon WorldWide, and it was mailed from … Kentucky. I know only a few in Kentucky, and can think of no one who would send me a package.
OMG. Someone… not just someone. Some dastardly fiend has sent me an 
ANONYMOUS PACKAGE.
I call my sister in law. She’s the thoughtful sort and sometimes surprises us with gifts out of the blue. Nope, she’s sent nothing. My next step as a Scaredy Cat sleuth is to call UPS. I wait on hold. A nice man eventually answers. Yes, ma’am, you’re right. It’s from Kentucky, but the tracking label says it came from some Systems place or another in Connecticut.
Connecticut?! I hang up and check my credit card accounts. Nope, no one has accessed them. I tell my husband; he tells me to chill. I call my friends, friends always commiserate. Finally, I decide a scammer has sent me something. Not only am I NOT going to open that package, I’m going to toss it away—unopened because, people, we’re in a pandemic!
Of course, what if there’s a bomb in that package? Now I’m feeling triply suspicious. But the good news is tomorrow is recycling day and I can put it out on the curb. (Trust me, I almost called the police to have them come open that box because I worried about the garbage collectors.)
I set it on the very top of my recycling tote, and re-enter the house. So nervous. I will not sleep a wink tonight–so worried about those poor unsuspecting recycling collectors. I text my daughter to tell her what happened. And she says. . . .
Oh, good, Mom, Amazon just texted me to tell me the package I sent to you seven weeks ago was finally delivered.
I hang my sleuth head in shame, go back to the recycle tote and retrieve my package. Risking COVID-19, I open it and find this . . . .
For those of you who send perishables to Las Cruces, New Mexico, take note. Perishables even stocked in dry ice will melt after weeks delayed in transportation.
The good news is if you stick Snickers in the freezer, they taste exactly the same. So … no harm done.
Till next time . . .
I wub Snickers. I did the front porch check yesterday with Handsome as a stranger rang the bell. turned out to be the neighbor’s pest control guy, asking if we had rats. Lordy. If I don’t know who is there, I don’t answer. I love Nancy Drew too.
Vicki! I may never answer the door again! Chomping on a Snickers Bite in your honor 😉
God, I love you. Only you could turn a package of Snickers into a who-dunnit. My mystery-solving comes when I find an unusual charge on or credit card. Now, the first person I turn to my husband. For some stupid reason, he doesn’t think I look at the charges.
Ha, Candy! Thank you. It’s downright terrifying how my mind works 🙁 Must. check. the charges . . .
Very funny, Donnell. I am both happy and sad that I did not receive such a welcome gift. If the box had been on my porch, I am sure my body would have swung back and forth and been drawn to it as if I were a divining rod for Snickers. Or Reeses. Or Noci. Well, you get the idea. Thanks for lightening the day. Mary (A fellow guppy.)
Mary, thank you! I usually can spot chocolate a mile away. But this was very well packaged. I hope you get a gift with a return label identifying the sender very soon 🙂 Nice of you to drop by!
Well, that was definitely my laugh for the month! And this better show up in your next book. It’s too good not to.
Note to self: Never try to surprise Donnell.
::sniff sniff: probably a good idea 🙂
I’m not quite as leary of packages and I do order from Amazon – all the things I need that I don’t want to GO OUT shopping for. If I know it won’t matter to sit for the 24 hours stuff can stay on the outside package I leave it sit. But most often, I carefully slit the top of the box and dump the contents out onto the floor or counter, then to out and feed the box to my recycle bin. Come back in, do the 20 seconds plus a few for good measure washing my hands and then deal with the contents which have been in the box for at least two or three days untouched. I’ve also noticed my Amazon driver is now wearing gloves.
Skye, I am not nervous around Amazon if I’ve ordered a package. I was just totally confused about no return address and addressed to me. Sounds like you have a great workable system 🙂
So much fun! Thanks for laughs, Donnell. :~))
Thanks, Barbara, after all that, I couldn’t believe my daughter had sent it 😉 Whew!
Too funny! Thanks for the. Chuckle.
You’re welcome. Obviously not one of my brighter moments 🙂
Girl, you’re a trip! That is so funny. ???
Thanks, Melanie! Hope you’re staying well!!!
Clearly I am not Scaredy Cat. Got a box today that the tape had come off. My items were in it, but so was someone else’s! I picked it up, called Walmart, and waited two hours for them to call me back. The lady on the phone with her very foreign accent told me it was a maternity item, as if I would rip it open and claim it. (My youngest is 27.) I dutifully sent hubby to the post office to send it on its way.
Shoot. I even forgot to wash my hands…
All right, AJ, you wash your hands right now:)
Donnell, your post abput The Package was a perfect way to start my morning. That and a cup of coffee – now I’m raring to go. Oh wait. Ican’t go anywhere. Stay home and Stay safe, right? Besides it’s raining–AGAIN. Hope you’re enjoying all the chocolate!!!
Oh, Loralee, so nice to hear from you! Yes, absolutely. This too will pass, and we have coffee and now chocolate 🙂 xoxo
Well Donnell, you are paranoid enough to be a mystery writer. lol
LOL, Wally, thank you…. I think 🙂 xoxo
Thanks for the laugh. Reminds me of when we’re kids! ❤️ M