Friends, Happy Friday. I am delighted (and I mean triply delighted) to bring back today’s guest. Helen Starbuck is amazing, not only as a writer but in her fearlessness. See if you don’t agree! Please welcome Helen Starbuck to Help From My Friends Friday. ~ Donnell
I Feel Like Writing AND Dancing
By: Helen Starbuck
Author Helen Starbuck
I have always been athletically challenged, I’m much more at home reading or writing. Sports were an exercise in futility and dancing baffled me as a young woman. I remember a guy who asked me to dance at a nightclub, saying, “You are the most dance-challenged person I’ve ever tried to dance with.” It still surprises me that I even attempted ballroom dancing. I always wanted to dance, but figured it was one of those pipe dreams like actually being ready for swimsuit season.
Whining to a friend is what started it all. I began working at home full time in 2016. I loved it, but I missed seeing and talking to people during the day. I was working on my first book as well, which meant I was a hermit for the most part.
My friend said, “You need to join a group that gets you out of the house.” I agreed, but her first few suggestions—hiking clubs, bicycle clubs—didn’t appeal. Then she suggested dancing and I thought, at least I’d meet guys and get to dance with them (ulterior motive not related to actually learning to dance). As it turns out not a lot of single guys take dance lessons, sadly.
I Googled ballroom dancing because I figured that was the most sedate and likely the easiest type of dancing to learn, but the joke was on me. What popped up was the Arthur Murray studios. One was near where I live, so I called. I spoke with Isaac, the man who would become my teacher. He asked a few questions—Have you danced before? (No, unless you count looking like Elaine in Seinfeld). Have you ever played a musical instrument? (As a kid). Do you sing? (Only in the car with the windows rolled up). That worried me. He said it wasn’t necessary, it just gave him an idea of where I was at.
After we scheduled a lesson, I asked, “Is there a dress code?” To which he replied, “Yes, it’s formal wear.” There was a long pause before he chuckled and said, “I’m kidding, you can come in regular clothes.” That’s all it took to assure me I was in good hands. A man who can make me laugh, can make me do anything.
Five years down the road, I can tell you that dancing is easier, but I have to work to learn steps and technique and patterns, and listening to the rhythm of the music. I do catch on faster these days. It’s given me a lot of pleasure and boosted my confidence. Isaac is an amazing teacher, patient and funny, and he never lets me get frustrated. “Don’t be mean to Helen,” is his favorite comment. He tells me the goal is to “suck a little less every day,” and he has helped me achieve that.
As writers we can be so hard on ourselves. Listen to Isaac, don’t be mean to yourself, just suck a little less every day. Like anything, writing takes work.
Helen addressing her fears
Isaac eventually talked me into going to my first competition, and I had a blast. That began an addiction. I’ve been to five competitions now and plan on many more. Dance keeps my brain engaged. It lets me focus on something other than writing, and I get to dress up like a princess at a ball. It’s also made me more aware of others’ movements and body language in real life, which helps me write.
Dancing the night away
I don’t dwell on dancing in my books, but it sneaks in here and there. I like the men in my books to be good at social dancing. A man who dances is very sexy—he has to be sensitive to his partner’s body and to music. A good dancer makes his partner feel sexy, too. My guys are all of that.
I’m contemplating a book about murder at a dance competition, we’ll see where that goes. In the meantime, I have a dance lesson.
About The Book:
The Woman He Used to Know
Mistakes, Regrets, and Murder
Denver homicide detective Nick Ryan and Elizabeth Harper have a history of passionate mistakes and broken trust. She married a man he despised, and Nick hasn’t seen her in five years. Now, her husband is dead, and she may have killed him.
The woman he used to know wouldn’t have killed anyone. Now, she’s the prime suspect and has many reasons to want him dead. Hasty decisions have brought Nick, Elizabeth, and her husband to a strange and bloody crossroads. Nick is worried his feeling for her will help her get away with murder, and she’s worried they’ll land her in prison.
About the Author: Helen Starbuck—no relation to the coffee bunch—lives in Arvada, Colorado, with her two cats and is a multiple award-winning author of Legacy of Secrets, Finding Alex, The Woman He Used to Know, and the Annie Collins Mystery Series.
Helen likes stories about strong women and interesting men. She writes her mysteries from the perspective of an OR nurse and relies on her love of suspense and romance to write her standalone romantic suspense novels. Her theory is, if you don’t like life as it is, you can always write a different ending.
HOME – Helen Starbuck | Award-Winning Author “THE ANNIE COLLINS SERIES”
https://www.helenstarbuck.com/
I’m dancing challenged too although I did play an instrument and sang and was in a marching band many years ago. I’m amazed at what you’ve accomplished and now I have a new “must read” to add to my TBR list.
Thanks Elaine. I’ll never make Dancing With the Stars, but it’s so much fun and the students and teachers have become good friends
Elaine, I so agree on both counts. The book sounds fabulous!
Thanks Donnell!
Helen, gosh I’m impressed with you 😉 Congratulations on being my friend 🙂 Seriously, talk about facing your fears! I have two left feet!
Thanks Donnell, AM can teach both feet to dance 😉🎶😂
What a wonderful and inspiring blog. Thank you, Helen!
Thank you!
Helen, you’ve earned my respect for facing up to your fears and doing the dancing. It says a lot about your tenacity and pluck. Good luck with your new book.
Thanks Michael😊
What a wonderful story–journey.
Thanks George!
Wow! Just Wow! As I get older, facing my fears gets harder, but I felt such victory in your story! Thanks for sharing.
Rhonda I started late in life so I say go for what gives you joy
So fun! I say definitely write the dance competition book.
Ann
The designer of the competition dresses in the photos—Julia Gorchakova at Artistry In Motion—wants to be in it and wants to be the killer😂 She does make killer dresses😁
Hey, Donnell. Nice to meet you, Helen. I’m so jealous that you do the dance thing. Good for you. We tried to do that a couple of years ago, but my husband and I both injured our feet and had to stop. Now I just watch Dancing With the Stars and think how wonderful it would’ve been. Kudos to you for taking on something you really weren’t any good at and became excellent. What a line about the pipe dream of being ready for swim suit season. LOL I’ll definitely check out your book. 🙂
Thank you Marsha! I hear you, those physical limitations catch up to us all, but find something that gives you joy. Follow your bliss as Joseph Campbell said and enjoy Dancing With the Stars. Thanks for checking out my book 💕
I loved this post, Helen! I’m so happy that you’re doing something you love just for you! My daughters both were dancers and I always happily took them to lessons, because it was one of the things I wished I had been able to do as a kid. I also got to take a few lessons too throughout the years and it was so much fun. Congrats on following your dream!
Thanks Margaret! It is so much fun.
Hi Helen. I took up ballroom dancing in my late fifties (so much easier when you’re not dragging a husband along). My teacher talked me into competing (newcomer level) after only a year, but I figured it would be good material for a future book. It’s great for the brain and my biggest accomplishment is that I can now follow anyone – even if they are dancing the waltz to tango music. Your book sounds great. Congratulations on all of your achievements!
Thanks Cindy! Some leaders are baffling😂 but good for you keeping up with them. My teacher pulls stunts like that just to see if I can follow, so it’s good training.